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Flower Child

October 14, 2012

She’s 19 years old and no longer that adorable little munchkin that originally stole our hearts.  She’s intelligent and feisty, yet seems so very lost right now trying to find her way in the world.

She’s been through a lot – two open heart surgeries and all the baggage that comes with that, having her little princess ego bruised when all the younger siblings started showing up,  pink hair, piercings in places where they shouldn’t be, ghoulish black eye make-up on her beautiful fair complexion, dyslexic with a high math aptitude, and not fitting in at her high school.

She knew the trouble she was giving to her parents wasn’t necessary, but just didn’t seem to care.  While testing her boundaries at home, No2 and I got along great.  She would confide in me, and I listened.  I tried to be a sounding board, yet I would give her my honest opinions, trying to steer her in the right direction.  She was okay with it, too, seeming to welcome it and even agreeing with me.

That was then.  Now the young woman she is becoming seems so headed in the wrong direction, and she will no longer listen to Grandma.  It’s like watching a train wreck about to happen.

I love her dearly and wish I could get through to her.  My heart just aches for her now…my little flower child.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. October 14, 2012 5:18 pm

    Such a heart wrenching blog to read (and probably especially to write and post). Keep the faith and let her know that the door to your heart hasn’t closed to her. Maybe…eventually…years from now…she’ll see you as her “rock”.
    R

    • October 14, 2012 5:20 pm

      Thanks, Rich, that’s what I’m hoping.

  2. October 14, 2012 10:11 pm

    I second what Rich said. Open doors make all the difference. She’ll come, and arrive with some baggage. But you have plenty of room in your heart, I suspect.

    • October 15, 2012 9:33 am

      Thanks, Elyse. She still does reach out periodically, but then ignores my help. So I just step back and wait until the next time. I just won’t be an enabler.

  3. October 15, 2012 7:12 am

    What you’re going through is so very hard, and I really empathize. Accepting that there’s nothing you can do is probably the hardest thing to do – easy to say – hard to do. Hang in there, my thoughts are with you as you traverse this journey,

    MJ

  4. October 17, 2012 8:28 pm

    I thought the most difficult time raising kids was the transition from teen to adult. My son tells me now that he did hear what I was saying even though it didn’t seem that way back then. I know you won’t give up…you can’t…but I hope it gets easier.

    • October 17, 2012 9:07 pm

      I imagine that she listens to her parents, too, though you would never guess. I just keep telling myself that eventually she’ll straighten out. I just hope I live long enough to see it

  5. October 17, 2012 10:24 pm

    She’s likely testing her wings a little. Undoubtedly, your wise counsel and steady roots will lead her back.

    • October 17, 2012 11:59 pm

      Oh, yes, testing her wings a lot. I hope she finds her way back…thanks.

  6. Sue Brown permalink
    October 18, 2012 2:32 pm

    Ouch. That must hurt. But she knows that your door is open. Maybe it won’t take as long as you think for things to change.

  7. October 21, 2012 9:29 pm

    No one can break your heart like a child. But what can we do except keep loving them?

    • October 21, 2012 10:17 pm

      That’s what we keep doing…unconditionally.

  8. October 24, 2012 10:02 am

    And there is such a thing as a minor train wreck. Maybe the jolt will be enough to get her attention, without destroying her life. Sometimes that’s the only way.

    No matter what, they’re all lucky to have you.

    • October 25, 2012 6:15 pm

      Thanks, Charles…let’s hope for a small jolt. 🙂

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